[EU] Welcome to the Thievery Corporation

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Welcome, dear reader. This is the leader of the Thievery Corporation speaking. (Wait, is it okay to call myself "Leader" as long as we're just two people? ...OF COURSE IT IS! Leader hath spoken!)

You know what? I don't want to kid you, dear reader. You don't want to waste your precious time, I don't want to waste your precious time, so let me clarify something right from the get-go: In the following couple of paragraphs, whenever I speak of "we" as a guild, I actually mean "the two of us".
As of now, we're just two people looking for cool guys and gals to experience GW2 with. We don't have a big guild hierarchy, no fancy alliance, no complex recruiting criteria, no guild parties, lotteries or what-have-you. (Wow... starting to pity myself a bit. Keep cool, keep your composure, you can DO this!) Oh, we do have a fancy website, though! Just sayin'.

So this is the deal: At the moment, following all those GW2 announcements, we can barely keep our drool from cascading down our chins like the friggin' Niagara Falls, however, trying as we might, the game's just not as fun with just two players patting each other's shoulders. We need COMPANY. And that's where YOU come into play! (Imagine my handsome finger pointing in your general direction, if you will.)

If you call yourself a nice, mature, easy-going and/or all around pleasant person to hang out with, if you enjoy PvE and the occassional trip to PvP-Land and WvW-Ville, if you are looking for a cozy family of fellow players instead of feeling like you are a member of some faceless corporation, if you like participating in guild activities and events without feeling forced to do so, and if you are European or alternatively non-European with a screwed up (I mean... unconventional, heh) gaming schedule... if you are all of the above, then why not send a PM our way?

Oh, right, you might want to know a little more about US before signing up, wouldn't you, dear reader? Well, let me elaborate:
We are a friendly mid-20s couple from Berlin, Germany, with 2+ (her) and 6+ (that'd be me) years of GW experience. We've had our fair share of fun with GW1, but wouldn't go as far as to call ourselves "pros" or "experts". We're just, you know... gamers. She's a photographer, I studied Japan Studies. We like breakfast cereals for dinner, long walks on the beach, and WHOCARESWEJUSTWANNAPLAYGW! ...Sorry, don't know where that came from. Excuse my rude outbreak, dear reader.

Anyways, in the slight chance that you actually don't feel completely bored/enraged/disgusted/repelled by this sorry excuse of a guild recruitment thread, we'd be more than happy to hear from you, dear reader! Either send a PM right here in the forums, or you can also contact us in-game (that is, GW1 in-game, obviously). My name is Arawn Bladebreaker, and my dear co-leader goes by the name of Cyril Eventide. Or via the website below!

To see our awesome, breath-taking, god-blinding webpage, please go through here: http://thievery-corporation.enjin.com

 

This is what we I call an update!

So what's been going on behind the curtains of the equal parts mysterious and mischievous Thievery Corporation in the last 7 days? Well let me tell you! And boy, what a story it is! ... Well, a pretty generic one probably, so don't get your expectations up too high ... (Man, I'm bad at doing advertisement...)

First of all, our little two-man-show has steadily grown over the last week. The feeling of being part of a nice little family has started to kick in, as we're befriending more and more people both in Guild Wars 1 and on our very own guild website. Also, this small family business slowly turns into a cultural melting pot, right now being a home for members from England, Scotland, Germany, Poland and even half of an Italian.
More planning has been commenced for Guild Wars 2, ideas for professions, races and in-game activities are being exchanged and discussed. At the same time, we're contemplating on ways to make our guild more unique in GW2.

And you know what? You can take part in all that as well! Our long digital arms are constantly open in a welcoming gesture, and we're happy to have even more people join our ranks, both young and old, short and tall, fluent in 1337-speak or defender of ye olde ways of talking, ... well, you get the gist of it, I hope.
In fact, we're even housing GW1-veterans as well as total newcomers to the game, and we've had a ton of fun during the past week doing nothing else but helping new players experience the world of Guild Wars, pre-rise-of-the-Elder-Dragons-style! (In fact, I've even lost count of how many times I bashed in Shiro's head since last weekend... Well, okay, it was 3 times I guess, but still!)

So you see - if you want to be one of the cool kids, join the Thievery Corporation! And if you detest cheesy advertising lines such as this as much as we do, even more reason to sign up!
Again, just send me a PM right here on the forums or, even better, head directly over to http://thievery-corporation.enjin.com, register and become a member!

What are you waiting for?! (...Oh... oh okay, I see... well alright, but after that, maybe you find time to join us, okay? Okay.)

 

Don't look, don't turn around,
old man bumper walks about.

Hello, good day and hey there, dear community! It is time for some of that sweet sweet news-stuff again from us here at the Thievery Corporation. Now what will we talk about today? Well... what would YOU like to talk about? ...Alright, sorry, I kinda don't have time for that, I'll just answer it myself!

By now, we've welcomed over a dozen players into our ranks, and we're still steadily growing. In fact, several smaller groups have already begun to take shape and form in our guild: our dedicated WvW-experts regularly get together to discuss strategies and tactical advantages of our guild, trying to find the best way to annoy our enemies from server 2 and 3. Our creative team has come up with some very interesting ideas of both in-game and out-of-game activities for our guildies, and believe me when I tell you: it's gonna be mildly amusing... AT LEAST! Aaaand, on the technical side of things, the Corporation's faithful members are figuring out which voice server to use for future guild activities... as we speak! (Isn't that amazing? ...Yes... yes, I guess it isn't. Well anyways...)

You know the drill: if you have some self-resect in you, head over to http://thievery-corporation.enjin.com and become a member - you know you want it.

 

Hear ye, hear ye!

Yes, we still exist, and yes, we're still awesome! (To some degree...)
'What news of the guild?' you may ask. Well, what news indeed.

Our guild roster is now in his twens (it's the best time, isn't it?), finally out of puberty, so to speak, and we're courageously steering towards two dozen members right now.
Activity-wise, our forums are alive and well, and the Thievery Corporation's invisible tentacles (of awesomeness) stretch out over the borders of our own website to get us a foothold on platforms like Twitter, Facebook and lolcharr... yes, you read correctly.
We're chatting, discussing, planning, gaming, and abusing the living daylights out of the Enjin Signature Creator - that thing is amazing!

Actually, you know what? If you want to find out even more, you might want to check out our website http://thievery-corporation.enjin.com, and you might also register there and you might even want to click on "Become Member"... Why? Because we'd love you for that! As a friend... we'd love you as a friend. It... it just wouldn't work out any other way, you know that. We don't want to ruin our friendship by doing something stupid, going a step too far... Really, it's not you, it's us. We're just not ready for something bigger right now. But we love you nonetheless...
(Seriously, sign up now! Or do you want me to continue?)

 

Do you feel lonely sometimes? Like no-one cares for you? Like no-one else exists?

Then head over to the Thievery Corporation website at http://thievery-corporation.enjin.com! We're so friendly, it'll melt your face off!

...

Do you feel like no-one would hear you, even if you screamed at the top of your lungs?

Then what are you waiting for? Sign up now and enjoy inspiring debates, both written AND spoken! Our Mumble server is ready like betty spaghetti!

...

Do you feel intimidated by other players, frightened even? Scared to prove yourself in the face of a superior opponent?

Then OUR guild is the perfect place for YOU! We're not superior to you - we suck at most games! If you suck too, you'll feel right at home.

...

Do you feel like your talents are under-appreciated? Like the world just slows you down, limiting your potential?

Then we're your man... men... and women... We're your people! Why? Because we're good at everything, especially games, but MORE especially at making friends!

...

Do you feel like you just don't have what it takes?

Doesn't matter! We'll take anyone! Like... literally... you could be a Guild Wars loving platypus, your membership application would still be approved in no time!

...

Bottom line: we're awesome, the rest of the world just doesn't know it yet.
Second bottom line: I slowly run out of things to write in here. If this post confused you more than anything, you might want to turn your attention to the previous posts. Yes, my pleasure. No need to thank me. I'm here to help. Really. I'm happy if you're happy. Okay, you dwadle along and fill out that application form now, daddy has some grown-up work to do. Nighty night.

 

You know what I like? Bold stuff!
You know what I also like? Q&A sessions, or better... Q&A sessions! So let's get right to it.

Q: First things first, the most important question, how IS the Thievery Corporation coming along? All nice 'n' dandy?
A: It is very nice, and incredibly dandy, if I may add. The over two and a half dozen active members are chatting in our chat room, shouting in the shoutbox, and... forage... through the forums? I don't know, that didn't sound right...

Q: Wow. Just wow. How do you manage to keep things fresh and innovative for everyone?
A: Well, Mr Q, believe me when I tell you: the word "boredom" is NOT a part of my vocabulary!

Q: Certainly, I mean, you are German after all.
A: Err... well, yes, but that's beside the point.

Q: Oh is it now? Getting cocky all of a sudden? Tell me, who of us two has the big ol' Q in front of the colon, hm? Tell me!
A: Can't we just get back to our guild? Yes we can. You see, you mentioned innovation, and well, we're all about innovation! We have... forum games! And threads were people can post funny youtube videos! And, and... Oh, I think nobody will argue that having a giant COUNTDOWN for the GW2 pre-purchase is nothing less than the EPITOME of innovation, right? I mean, who else could have thought of that, hm? We're pioneers, I tell you, pioneers of guild innovation!

Q: Cool. So everyone will find something to do on your guild website. That's great... and probably untrue. But you mentioned the pre-purchase - how will you guys deal with that situation?
A: I think with only a few exceptions, almost everyone of our active members will pre-purchase and participate in the open beta weekends. In fact, we will even do an official guild meet-up on the first weekend, where we might even try our group tactics in WvW. Oh, and did I mention the giant countdown on our website? It was, you know, kind of my idea, and I knew from the start I was on to something big! You see, about that countdown-...

Q: Amazing, really. Now tell me: active forums, gorgeous website, in-game guild meet-ups, that's all great, but... what's the deal with that guild name?
A: What, "Thievery Corporation"? Well, Q, you see - we wanted a name that people would immediately associate with excitement, finesse, hiding in the shadows, stealing stuff. So... we stole it. This name is 100% stolen from some jazz-fusion-weirdo band, so that people will instantly get the Thieves reference. Pretty clever, right?

Q: Agreed. Anyways, you know... last things last: everybody wants to know - what is the Thievery Corporation looking for?
A: Well, funny you should ask, because the guild has, as of this weekend, officially started looking for a cure to cancer. Also, we're looking for the ruins of Troy, the secret locations of Joseph Kony, words that rhyme with "orange", and my car keys.
...Oh, you mean member-wise? Pff, nothing in particular, we take anyone who's desperate enough to spend time with us.

Q: Alright, that was all. Thank you, and let me tell you: this interview was less painful than I thought.
A: My pleasure. You know what I always say: pain is dumb!


You know what I like? Links!
Here's one: http://thievery-corporation.enjin.com/

 

Hmmm... hurr... well... uhnnn...

You know what? This time, let's just keep this short! The first BWE is right around the corner, so who takes the time to read through all my ramblings now anyway? Right!

I have nothing more to say to you.
...Not until next week at least. Next week, OH, next week will be glorious! I don't want to spoil anything, but next week's bump post will include:

- a lion
- a pink armchair
- me wearing a lucha libre mask
- Euler's number
- two drunk Asura ladies
- a lot of styrofoam

Tune in!